OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
