Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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