His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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