in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
