Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!