Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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  (310): A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. http://tfl.nu/d1e6
  Replies (111) Good night (10070) Bad night (1934)
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  (310): View more from California

  it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

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  (310): it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls. http://tfl.nu/2hrl
  Replies (30) Good night (10650) Bad night (1109)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (9117) Bad night (1099)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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  (651): I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country http://tfl.nu/ju5o
  Replies (9) Good night (5422) Bad night (1021)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)

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  (610): We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus) http://tfl.nu/tr80
  Replies (5) Good night (2575) Bad night (1924)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3977) Bad night (1103)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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  (+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e
  Replies (10) Good night (2431) Bad night (800)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3254) Bad night (1256)
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  (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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  (650): Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days. http://tfl.nu/kjo1
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (737)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

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  (919): at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up http://tfl.nu/r47i
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (478)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.

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  (816): He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger. http://tfl.nu/btv5
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (779)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.

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  (913): Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/qsv4
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (355)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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  (469): I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. http://tfl.nu/da4u
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (313)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.

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  (613): We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/xkiw
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (199)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.

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  (443): I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice. http://tfl.nu/l8eb
  Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (150)

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