She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.