Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.