Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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(214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt

Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (910)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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(717): WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night. http://tfl.nu/710a

Replies (20) Good night (1121) Bad night (1566)
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(630): View more from Illinois

but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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(630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc

Replies (17) Good night (494) Bad night (4771)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?

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(860): Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too? http://tfl.nu/bk9g

Replies (3) Good night (3308) Bad night (648)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

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(412): No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger. http://tfl.nu/77i8

Replies (35) Good night (1071) Bad night (14844)
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(+39): View more from

my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.

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(+39): my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever. http://tfl.nu/kcqx

Replies (8) Good night (2842) Bad night (1167)
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(607): View more from New York

My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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(607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su

Replies (7) Good night (2919) Bad night (791)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel

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(412): i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel http://tfl.nu/p08s

Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (1703)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.

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(860): omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning. http://tfl.nu/wknn

Replies (6) Good night (2164) Bad night (1317)
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(816): View more from Missouri

It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

(-1816): View more from

Probably is probably an understatement.

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(816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu

Replies (9) Good night (2445) Bad night (836)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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(860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g

Replies (4) Good night (1173) Bad night (832)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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(202): Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation. http://tfl.nu/g1cn

Replies (9) Good night (1053) Bad night (545)
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(916): View more from California

WHY did you say no to the sex seance?

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(916): WHY did you say no to the sex seance? http://tfl.nu/czv9

Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (530)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

Celebratory bar crawl?

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(704): Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends. (1-704): Celebratory bar crawl? http://tfl.nu/s5bh

Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (384)
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(714): View more from California

I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

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(714): I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner. http://tfl.nu/e65g

Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (242)

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