You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
