Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
