I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize