I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize