I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
