Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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