Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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