the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
