I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
