The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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