I will die if light touches me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
