I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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