I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
