Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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