I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
