Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
