Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize