So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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