New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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