I'm really into asian looking animals
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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