He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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