you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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