The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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