Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
