ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
