they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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