hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
