Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
