Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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