end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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