Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
