He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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