I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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