oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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