ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
