also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
