How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize