the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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