she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
