none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
