Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
