Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
