I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
