she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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