Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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