Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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