Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize