id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
