So drunk its hurt
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
