Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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