we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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