Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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